Life is tough. There’s no getting away from that fact. It’s messy, it’s turbulent, it’s painful – but it’s also joyful, exciting, wonderful and intriguing. It can be very difficult to remember that, however, when faced with the messier side of existence and we often find that we lose our way – and ourselves – when the external trappings of life start to get in the way.
Getting to know and understand ourselves on a deeper, more meaningful level is the path to true happiness and contentment. Looking internally and enjoying a fulfilling relationship with ourselves is exciting – perhaps more exciting than any other relationship we will ever have.
“The one thing I have learned is that one must live this life. This life is the way, the long sought-after way to the unfathomable, which we call divine. There is no other way. All other ways are false paths. I found the right way, it led me to you, to my soul. I return, tempered and purified.” – Carl Jung
But, of course, given the way that modern life is set up, this can be a lot easier said than done. Jung goes on to say that our souls do not exist through us but, rather, that we exist through our souls – and “he whose desire turns away from outer things, reaches the place of the soul”.
He is talking about turning our backs on desire and the “hollow things of the world”, and instead looking for what is deep, true and real… nourishing the soul, “otherwise you will breed dragons and devils in your heart”.
Practically speaking, this means refocusing how we live our lives, finding out what is most important and taking personal responsibility for everything we do – and everything we don’t do.
“The distance between your dreams and reality is called action!”
It’s all about living powerfully and with intent, rather than just drifting through existence, waiting for something to happen. We only get one chance at this beautiful thing called life and it’s so important not to waste a single living second of it.
But, again, this can be tricky to accomplish when we are weighed down by so much – This is where a professional life coach can really come into their own, helping you to regain your focus, find direction and start living the life you were truly meant to lead.
“You have to let go of who you were to become who you will be”
Life coaches are health and well being professionals who work to help people progress through their lives so they can be as fulfilled as possible, whether that’s in their careers, relationships or day-to-day life.
They’ll help you work out what your goals actually are, what obstacles are getting in your way and how you can overcome these to see the success you’re longing for.
Self-reflection and self-awareness are a must if you want to live your very best life, but it can be difficult to look past the blind spots to see the bigger picture and identify what needs to be done – a life coach can help with this, ensuring that you grow as an individual and achieve exactly what you want.
If you are feeling stuck creatively, experiencing high levels of stress or anxiety, find yourself being constantly irritable, or feeling unfulfilled where your social life is concerned, these could all be signs that you need the help of a life coach or mentor to get you out of your rut and back onto the path of greatness.
It’s all about getting a fresh perspective and judgement-free thoughts on the problems you’re currently facing, helping you to blaze new trails and go through life without fear.
“Every day is a fresh start”
Life coaching has all sorts of benefits associated with it, empowering you to live more confidently, achieve what you have in mind, enjoy a more harmonious work-life balance, get rid of self-doubt and be absolutely unstoppable for as long as you live.
The ultimate goal of a life coach is to help you to transform your life and claim your personal power
A good life coach will help you to:
- Set and stick to your goals – Goal setting involves developing an action plan which is designed to guide and motivate you towards your desired outcomes whatever they may be.
- Be in alignment with your true self – Being the best version of yourself is about being true to yourself. Being true to yourself means that you behave and communicate in complete integrity with your beliefs, values and in particular with what feels right in your heart
- Become more conscious of what you are projecting – Our external world is a projection of what is happening with us internally and can give us much information about ourselves if we take time to observe and be aware.
- Learn your triggers – when we are triggered by something external to us, we tend to blame others for what we are experiencing. Blaming others for our state of mind and situation is living a victim mindset. The faster you can learn to stop reacting to others, the faster your mindset will shift to be more in alignment with your true self. A good life coach will help you to understand that the only things that you can really change in your life are your behavior, your mindset and your communication style. You have no control over the behavior or mind of others.
- Knock down your barriers – There are various life experiences that create barriers and prevent us from being our true selves. These barriers are sometimes referred to as the five main wounds of life. These wounds are namely abandonment, rejection, injustice, humiliation, and betrayal. We should all be aware of our potential wounds so that we can identify our limits and the obstacles that are preventing us from reaching our full potential.
- Create Boundaries – In order to create boundaries, we need to recognise that sometimes we do things simply to please others regardless of how it it makes us feel internally. Creating and setting boundaries enables us to experience more positive moments in our lives and the perfect environments to live our best lives
“Setting boundaries is a way of caring for myself. It doesn’t make me mean, selfish or uncaring (just) because i don’t do things your way. I care about me too”
- Increase your self confidence and self esteem – Self confidence is about trusting your abilities, your judgement and your decisions. Self esteem is the way we evaluate our worth and the ultimate belief we place on ourselves. People with high self esteem tend to be more comfortable with their own true selves and demonstrate a lot more integrity.
- Connect with your authenticity – Authentic people are genuine, real, and mostly in integrity with themselves. They don’t try to be something they are not, nor are they “people pleasers”. For them being different is not an issue or something they try hard to be, they are just themselves. Authentic people love what they are doing and don’t try to imitate others. One of the best ways to connect with your own authentic self is by not comparing yourself with others and by simply doing and being “you”.
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we are” – Brene Brown
- Reconnect with your inner child – when you reconnect with your inner child you also heal wounds from the past. The main things you can learn from your inner child are 1.) There is no such thing as failure, only experiences. 2.) It doesn’t matter what others think of you. It only matters what you truly think of you. 3.) Love is unconditional. 4.) You are only ever truly alive in the present moment and it is only in the present moment that your true power lies. It is therefore of vital importance that you use your every “present moment” constructively and wisely . 5.) It’s easy to forgive others if you show compassion and move on. To be more like your inner child it’s essential to awaken that aspect of you that you knew when you were young but somehow got disconnected from as you transformed into adulthood.
- Tame your inner voice – Self talk is one of the most powerful forms of communication because it has the power to either lift you up or bring you down in an instant. We need to become more conscious of our inner chat and identify our negative self talk. Our goal should be to to become more aware of our negative chatter and change it to something more positive. Our self talk reflects our innermost feelings.
- Increase your self awareness – Self awareness is the ability to recognise your emotional state and then find ways to stay in balance. When you practice self awareness, you allow yourself to be a better version of yourself and prevent your emotions from taking control of you. The more you are aware of your emotions, the more you understand yourself.
We can only become our true selves when we consciously choose to remove the mask that we have been wearing for a long time. This mask comes with behaviours and wounds that only time an hard work can heal. Never be afraid to face your shadows in order to bring to light the aspects of yourself that require work and healing. Human beings were never supposed to live in isolation and do things on their own. We are social creatures that require a community to thrive. When necessary we should seek help from experts and also build a good support network to encourage and motivate our positive growth.
Becoming the very best version of yourself is not an objective that can be reached overnight, however engaging the services of a life coach may well be one of the first important steps that you can take towards reaching this goal.
If you’d like to chat more about how life coaching could revolutionise you and set you on the path to success, get in touch with me today. I’d also love to hear your stories of how life coaching has helped you – so share away in the comments below!